I’m only 23. Well, I’ll be 24 soon. But when I observe my life and habits, they’re astoundingly older. I wake up at 6ish in the morning, do stretches, shower, let the dogs out, make tea, make breakfast, sit down and read the news while I eat. Get dressed, go to work early, work 8.5-9.5 hours, drive in the traffic home, feed pets, go to practice, come home, cook, have a nightcap, go to bed at 10. Then the next day I do this over and over again.

I have friends who are older than me and stay up late with friends, then go to work. Or they play video games. They just have a lot more life during the weekdays than I do. I don’t go out and do things simply because I know I’ll just get tired and cranky.

How did I become so old so quickly after graduation? It’s been 1.5 years.

Is this really what a routine does to you?

My boss tried to get us to pull all-nighters recently. I just couldn’t keep up. She was having me on CRAZY FRANTIC ENERGY the entire time I was working, so I burnt out quickly. I ended up collapsing with a fever/stomach issues and had to go home. I still haven’t fully recovered since Monday. How is this possible?

I used to be the coding queen of the night. My best work I produced at 3am in the morning. I’d go to school, come home and nap, then wake up and do my homework. Everything I produced at night seemed more genuine and creative.

During the day, though, it’s all business. I’m productive as hell. Want me to get it done? Bam! But will I have entirely thought it through and explored all concepts? Nope. Kinda sucks.

But I also am not one of those people who will work on work work at night just to do better. I need a balance in life. I almost wish I could have a schedule around the realm 11-7. I could get my exercising and shit done in the morning, then really crank out the creativity during my work hours. But who would allow that?

I just have to get with the fact that I’m an old fart in a routine. Blegh.